magic trick pick ups

i was listening to hamish and andy on the drive home today and the topic was 'has a magician or someone pretending to be a magician ever used magic tricks as a way to try to pick you up?

i thought 'god, not only is that a pretty bloody specific question, but no one is going to call in, who on earth... oh god...' and i suddenly remembered that back in 2001 this happened to me. i had completely omitted it from my memory.

i was in my final year of vce and i had to take my folio down to monash uni to have it viewed from when i was applying to do graphic design. i was really upset because when i took my folio out of the back seat of my parents car the night before i saw all these scratches over it from some metal that was in the car. so i was grumpy because it was brand new and i had wrecked it.

i had to catch public transport to monash caulfield. fyi... it's two 45 minute train rides to get there. and it was raining. and the sky was black. and my hair was frizzing. and i got lost. the interview went really well, but it just started BUCKETING down as soon as i left.

i got on the first train.

and it began.

i ALWAYS attract the freaks on public transport. i could write literally thousands of blogs on my experiences. i DO NOT invite them in any way. i walk in with my head down, i never make eye contact with anyone, i take a book to read, i turn my phone on silent. and yet somehow i still am always the centre of VERY BAD attention in the carriage. i always used to look around despairingly thinking 'what's wrong with picking on someone else in this carriage? why me?'

anyway, back to my train ride. this guy started talking to me. he seemed a bit hyper so i was trying to give him polite but short answers in a bid to make him bored. i'm always too afraid to annoy them just in case they turn feral and i know that everyone on the train would pretend they can't see it.

he started talking heaps, about how he'd gone all over the world and travelled and had all these different jobs and experienced so much. but he spoke fast and fervently, which intimidated me.

suddenly he pulls out what i at first thought was a used pink condom.

'bee, get the hell off at the next stop i don't care how long it takes me to get home, if that thing touches me-'

then he put it to his mouth and blew. it was a balloon. and another. and another. suddenly he had 5 or so long skinny balloons, which he gathered up in his hands and twisted into an enormous flower with 2 sets of petals.

i'll admit it was quite pretty... FOR A THREE YEAR OLD. anyway, he insisted i take it. i tried to think of a logical excuse that wouldn't offend him.

'ah, no thanks. it's nice, but i'm going home and i can't carry that-'
'aha! well i'll make it easy for you then!'

whithin 3 minutes he deftly attached a balloon dog leash to my folio strap without asking me, and attached the balloon dog leash to a balloon dog and wrapped the flower in the middle. so i was carrying half a circus hands-free.

by this time i thought he was a complete and total loony and i was petrified. he was acting so psychotic about the balloons and me taking them.

finally it got to my stop and i jumped off with all these enormous balloons. he followed me and talked to me as we got on the bus. i thought 'oh my god, if i get off at my stop he's going to follow me home' but luckily he didn't. i think by that time he finally became bored because of my one word answers.

i walked from the bus stop to my house absolutely mortified. i couldn't litter all the balloons in the street, and there were no bins out that afternoon.

i came in through the front door and mum and my sister ran up and yelled 'how was the in... ter... view... what the?' they stood and stared at me, dripping wet, frizzy hair, running make up, slumped to one side from heavy folio, which had a balloon dog and enormous yellow and pink flower attached to it.

'public transport' i answered.