movember

tiger balm madness

oh god.

i just bought 8 new pairs of contact lenses; 2 violet, 2 light brown, 2 grey, 1 green, 1 blue. I have been wearing the violet ones for the past week with no problems. i wore an orangey-red dress on the weekend and decided it would go well with green eyes... so out came a new pack of contacts.

i tried to put them in my eyes and they stung like crazy, i could only get one in and i couldn't stop crying and my nose turned into a tap and i took it out and that was the end of that.

the next day exactly the same thing happened. i rinsed and re rinsed the contacts. still turned me into a bright red mess so i gave up.

third time lucky today... not. not even 1 second after i put the contact in my eye all the white turned bright pink. i took it out and dialled my optometrist furiously with water pouring out of my pink eye and bright red nostril.

'... i have rinsed them... several times, it's been 3 days of rinsing and rerinsing... no it's not because i'm not used to them, it feels like my eyeball is on fire, it feels like -'

OH MY GOD

'...deep heat...'

i nearly said tiger balm. it clicked suddenly that the contact lens problem coincided with me buying a new jar of tiger balm which i have been applying liberally every minute of the day to every dance injury area of my body.

'... not a problem Miss Bee, please keep your contact lenses and we will replace them free of charge, you obviously received a dodgey pair.'

i feel like crap. i'm now waiting for karma to come and bite me for being a stupid idiot.

come on karma.

linguistics is the root of my problem...

i was breath tested on the way to dancing last night even though it was early, probably Melbourne Cup related. i wound down my window and there were two police officers chatting away and slowly coming up to me.

now i'm not sure if i found this difficult to deal with because i have my degree in english and linguistics, but hmmm....

the police officer was talking to his friend in a monotonous voice 'yeah-i-know-what-you're-saying-and-please-take-one-continous-breath-until-i-say-agree-with-you-stop-completely-about-it-joe-when-the-breathaliser-beeps-twice-it-will-indicate-to-me-that-you-are-right-to-go.'

well firstly when he said stop i thought he was talking to the other cop so i kept blowing and turning red cos i was running out of breath then he just sort of pulled it out of my mouth. and had no idea that he even told me that i was right to go.

i was so tempted to say 'listen to my pauses... pay attention to my intonation... TAKE IT ON BOARD!'

i am a loser

so i went to the spot and was dancing with my friend S. and i was looking around to check out who i knew cos it was latin night. S. even said to me 'stop looking around, you'll attract guys'. should have listened to her...

so i kept on looking around and suddenly A. was standing behind S. and looking at me. well for some unknown reason i freaked. i looked at him, did not hide my shocked expression AT ALL, looked down and stood still while contemplating my next move (i am such an idiot)

this is what was going through my head ...




nothing. well apart from 'think of what to do!' repeating, there were actually no thoughts of what to do. after a few seconds i decided the best thing would be to smile, but i should have planned it a bit more carefully cos i looked up and gave him this manic just-got-out-of-the-psych-ward smile and then looked away. then i was even more upset with myself than before. i decided to give up so i said to S. 'hey, A. i here.' 'do you want to leave?' 'i want to go out for a smoke'

so we started walking to the exit and we stood in the entrance and i started explaining to her my scary smile etc then i stopped abruptly because he was standing behind her AGAIN. He asked if it was ok to come out for a smoke with us.

the conversation that ensued was the most ridiculously stilted convo i've ever had in my life, the whole time i was unable to comprehend A.'s questions because i was yelling at myself in my head 'BE NORMAL YOU MORON!'

Ugh, i am a loser. I don't understand why i reacted that way. i so have to leave the country to get away from my idiocy.